


One Unconventional Chance

by Pixelatrix



Series: Unconventional Sequels, One-Shots and Alternate Chapters [13]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Drama, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5345267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixelatrix/pseuds/Pixelatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This song was partly inspired by the Little Big Town song Girl Crush. </p><p>It's an Unconventional drabble based around the question: What if Fin hadn't forgiven Zaeed and Hackett at the beginning of the Reaper War? What if they hadn't immediately gotten back together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Unconventional Chance

The war was over.  Fin, as Commander Shepard, had only felt relief at having stopped the reapers.  Fin, as an actual person, had nothing but an ache in her heart to show for years of fighting.  She wanted everyone to leave her alone and no one seemed to understand.

Three months into the rebuilding process had been enough.   Fin talked Garrus into letting her hitch a ride to Tuchanka on one of the Turian supply ships.  They had been flying from system to system helping out where needed.

She stayed on Tuchanka for six months.  Wrex and Eve were happy to have her around, if only to play with all the new little Krogans starting to run around.  They all loved _Shepard._

And then, inevitably, Fin found her time in hiding coming to an end.  The moment Wrex told her the _Normandy_ had touched down.  She knew the Alliance had come calling for her. 

They had finally tired of waiting for her to return.  She’d seen the vids.  All of them.  Every single image of the reconnected couple—Zaeed Massani and Admiral Steven Hackett, ANN had latched on to the two men as the first light-hearted story to report on after all the tragedy of the last year.

Fin would’ve been with them.  She could’ve been between them.  Now all she had were vids to watch.

The run from Earth had been less about fleeing the attention and more about not wanting to have to answer questions about her failed relationship.   Fin saw them every night when she closed her eyes.  She saw them kissing.  It had been weeks since her last full night of sleep.

“Command Shepard?”

“Did you draw the short straw?”  Fin set her sketchpad down when a young junior office walked up to her.  She grinned when Vega stepped into view behind him. “Good to see you, James.”

“Lola.” He shoved the soldier out of his way.  “They sent Hayes with me, something about not trusting me to actually bring you home.”

“Home.” Fin’s happiness at seeing her friend evaporated almost instantly. “Yes. Home. What does the Alliance want?”

“Lola…” Vega gave her a tired look before glaring pointedly at Hayes who finally took the hint to go for a walk.  “The Alliance in general has other shit to deal with right now.  Your two pendejos are behind the sudden need for you to be on Earth.”

“They aren’t my anything.” Fin began stowing her pencils in the carry case. “Why do they want me to return?”

He just looked at her.

She found his pathetically sad eyes hard to resist. “Fine, fine. I won’t shoot the messenger.  We should take the long way home. Don’t you think?”

“ _Lola.”_

“James.”

He scratched his head before finally letting out a laugh. “It’ll serve the pendejos right if they have to sit on their asses and wait.”

“Exactly. Watch your language.” She glanced over to where Hayes hovered trying to listen in on the conversation. “He’s going to be a problem.”

“No. He won’t.” Vega leaned in closer. “Doesn’t Wrex need an Alliance liaison?”

The long way home ended up taking a month.  They visited with Tali on Rannoch, Garrus on Palaven and Liara in her newly rebuilt Shadowbroker base.  Vega (and the rest of the crew) finally started to get ansty about three weeks into the trip.  She couldn’t blame them—their careers were on the line.

Joker, of course, found the entire thing to be hilarious.  He’d been the only one to vote for extending the trip even further.  Fin had told him to head to London.  It was time to face the music.

She sat in the crew mess, trying not to panic.  Most of the trip had been spent anywhere but in her quarters.   She’d even slept on the couch in the lounge.  Her cabin had too many memories which she desperately wanted to avoid.

“Fin?”

She glanced away from her cooling coffee to find Cortez holding out a plate to her. “Cookies!”

“My husband always said these made everything better.”   He sat across from her. “Why didn’t you forgive them?  Vega tells me they tried talking to you several times.”

Fin set the cookie down on the plate to keep from crushing it in her fingers. “They broke my trust.  They broke my heart.  After Mindoir, I’d lost everyone—absolutely everyone I cared about died in the raid.  I never let anyone in.  I had no friends.  And then I let those two into my life.  Where were the men who promised to be with me always when I needed them the most? Nowhere to be seen, too busy arguing with each other.”

“They screwed up.”

“Yes.” Fin slouched into her chair with a sigh.  “Can you still taste him on your lips? Your husband, I mean, even now?”

“Of course I can.  Not sure I’ll ever forget.” Cortez reached across the table to take her hand.  “There’s a difference though.  Yours are still alive.  Mine is never coming back.”

“But…how can I trust them again?”

He squeezed her hand then let go. “You’ll have to decide if the risk is worth the reward.”

Fin rubbed her eyes with her fingers. “I’m exhausted.”

“Sleep. You can take my bunk if you can’t bear to use the captain’s quarters.” Cortez tried to swipe her coffee from her. “The last thing you need is more caffeine.”

“I can’t sleep.” She clutched the mug like a lifeline. “All I see when I try are the two of them.  I can smell their cologne around me.  It’s like a suffocating fog of emotions.  If I use a blanket, it weighs me down like their arms used to do.  I want them out of my mind before I lose it.”

“Or maybe you want them back?”

“ _No.”_

Cortez shook his head at her.  She could see the pity in his eyes. “Yes, you do.  If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting on this ship on the way to earth.  I’ve never known you to cave to a demand unless it was something you wanted to do.  Make them grovel if you want, but don’t lie to yourself.   It’s you that’s hurting the most from it.”

“Go away.”

“I’ll go see what Mr. Vega’s up to.” He squeezed her hand again then left her to her thoughts. “Just…don’t punish yourself in an attempt to spite the two of them for hurting you, okay?”

Fin rested her head against the table with a groan.  He had a point.  She didn’t want him to have one.  Her hurt and anger had carried her through the end of the war.  Why let it go now?

_How could she let it go now?_

“Commander? We’re docking in ten minutes.” Joker’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. “Thought you’d want to know there’s a bit of a crowd gathered.”

“Joker? Do me a favour?”

“Anything.”

“Pick a different docking bay.” She had no intentions of having her every expression witnesses by ANN cameras.  “One that’s far away, and don’t tell anyone we’ve changed it.”

“Done.”

It wouldn’t give her a lot of time.  But hopefully it would be enough to get into a skycar before reporters converged on her.  Besides Joker always joined in when it came to sticking it to the higher ups.

“You know, Commander, you could always take the Kodiak for a ride,” Joker suggested.

“Remind me to recommend you for a promotion.” Fin dashed to the lounge to grab her bag.  She hopped into the elevator.  Vega and Cortez were already waiting for in the shuttle bay. “Want to go for a ride?”

“We’ll provide a distraction.” Vega pointed to the second Kodiak. “They won’t know which one to follow.”

“You do realize you’re going to have to face them eventually, right?” Cortez followed her over to the shuttle. “Why are you doing this?”

“If I have to speak with them, it’s not going to be with a news camera shoved in my face.” Fin had enough of the scrutiny and attention of journalists to last a life time.  “My personal drama should remain private.  I don’t even know why Steven and Zaeed have been so _open_ about everything.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

She stared blankly at Cortez. “No.”

“They want you back.  You won’t talk to them. This way, they’re forcing you to see them all the time.  It’s brilliant.  How can you forget them if they are all you see every time you turn on ANN?” He shoved her into the Kodiak. “Go on then. Make them grovel.”

Flying the shuttle out of the ship, Fin felt a surprising rush of adrenaline.   It had been a long time since she anything close to a happy thrill had gone through her.   She thought of all the places to go, but finally ended up in the one place no one would expect.

The code to Hackett’s quarters hadn’t changed.  It was the same one he’d used on Arcturus and later on the Citadel.  She stepped into the room, not sure what to expect.

Her heart caught in her throat when a familiar ratty Koi caught her attention.  The little orange stuffed toy sat on one of two couches in the living room.  She’d wondered where it went.  She’d last seen it on Intai’sei when she’d beamed it at Zaeed’s head.

Pictures lined the walls and shelves.  All the frames contained photos of the three of them.  One of her paintings rested above a fireplace.   

Walking through the two bedroom apartment, Fin found the bedroom.  It too seemed to be a shrine to their relationship.  Nothing showed _just_ the two men.  They had included her in everything even if she hadn’t known.

She sank down on the edge of the bed, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face against them.   She’d thought the memory of the cologne had hurt.  The smell all around her in the bedroom felt like a blast from a reaper to her heart.

Voices in the living room told her they’d either followed her here or given up on the search.  She stayed on the bed, lifting her head up to rest her chin on her jean covered knees.  Their footsteps brought them closer to her.  She could hear they were arguing about her.

“We should’ve followed both shuttles.” Zaeed sounded closest to the door.

“She’ll talk to us when she’s ready.” Hackett, as always, strove to be the voice of reason. “Give her time.”

“How much more time?  I’m not waiting any goddamn more. We’re going to make her fucking listen to us.” Zaeed must’ve punched the wall given how the picture frame to her left hit the floor. “ _Shit.”_

The door opened before Fin had a chance to decide how to approach them.  Zaeed strode in obviously intent on picking up the fallen photo.   He froze on the threshold and stumbled forward when Hackett bumped into him.

“ _Finnegan.”_

_“Sweetheart.”_

Fin had thought ignoring the vids and memories difficult.  In person, the two had an impossibly monumental effect on her.  She held up her hand to stop them from rushing over to her. “You wanted to see me.”

If Fin could _just_ keep control of the conversation, maybe it wouldn’t simply devolve into her caving in to the love in their eyes.   She tried to hold on to her stern glare.  They continued inching toward her, obviously intent on ignoring her attempt to keep space between them.

“Stay there.” Fin found it hard to stay firm when they insisted on sitting beside her on the bed. “This is _not_ staying there.”

“We’ve missed you.”  Hackett rested his hand on his leg, his fingers brushed against the outside of her thighs.  “And we _are_ more sorry than you can ever imagine.”

“Sorry isn’t enough.  What? Am I supposed to say ‘okay’ and everything goes back to normal?” Fin started to get to her feet only for a hand on her arm to hold her down. “Do _not_ touch me, Massani.”

“Sweetheart.” Zaeed flinched from her almost as if she’d struck him.  Her heart clenched at the pain in his eyes. “How do we fix this?”

“I remember asking you to fix this a year ago. And what did you do then?” Fin refused to budge in inch—not yet anyway. “Why should I make an effort for you now?”

“Because you love us and you know we love you.” Hackett looped an arm around her shoulders, pointedly refusing to acknowledge her attempts to pull away. “Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t miss us?  Miss being together?”

“I…” Fin hated them both for putting her through this, but mostly herself for getting on the _Normandy_ in the first place. “I could have stayed on Tuchanka.”

“He’ll make goddamn cookies.”

“Cookies do _not_ solve everything.” Fin crossed her arms to glare at Zaeed who feigned a swoon onto the bed. “You’re not funny.”

“He’s a little funny.” Hackett teased the slightest of smiles out of her. “I’ll make your favourites.”

“Steven…”

“One chance. Just try, please?” He came the closest to begging Fin could ever remember hearing him. “Our life simply isn’t the same without you.”

“One. Chance.”  Fin finally gave to the two sets of arms wrapping around her. “Only _one._ ”

 

 


End file.
